If you’re sharp, you get the sarcasm in the title, but if not, let me explain. My dad went gray early. Like totally-white-by-the-age-of-fifty early. And of course, I am just. like. my. dad.

Gray hair started popping up when I was in my twenties. My early twenties. Luckily, I have a lot of curly hair, so they were easy to hide, but I’m vain enough to want some reinforcement. So I turn to the marvelous world of haircolor, starting off with a burgundy color wash. (It was the eighties. Sue me.) I think I look exotic. My more practical sister takes one look and delivers the death blow. “Purple.” **cringe**

It’s soon obvious that my hair will not be Nice ‘n Easied into submission, so I turn to the semi-permanent stuff. Washes out in 12-24 shampoos. I’m Natural, I have Instincts, I’m a Southern gal, so I like the sound of this:

Pecan. Reminds me of pie. Pie is yummy. Pie, however, becomes less and less able to conceal the Gray’s Rebellion taking place on my scalp. So I gulp and hit the hard stuff. Level 3. Permanent. And I turn to the Europeans.

Europeans like food, too. And so now I’m no longer a pecan. I’m a Chestnut.

Or not. Turns out haircolor oxidizes on your head. I live in Florida. That means lots of oxidation. So instead of my car rusting out, my head does. Lovely. I switch to Truffle,

a lovely shade of brown with no red. One problem: I have curly hair. Curly, dry hair. Curly, dry hair that soaks up haircolor, so if I’m not careful with the balance between enough-time-to-cover-resistant-gray and too much, I look like Goth Girl. Not a good look for an almost-40-year-old. Experimentation is good, especially when you have colors named luscious things like Chocolate Caramel:

(sounds great on the box, but not good on my head). Back to the store we go for more reinforcements. The winner:

Acorn!! Light natural brown. Looks mahvelous. I’m my old self again!

Okay, not that old looking, since the gray is gone, for now. I’ll go gray someday. Just not today.