Kick ’em When They’re Up, Kick ’em When They’re Down

Florida school grades came out yesterday. To no one’s surprise, the richest high school in our district got yet another A, while my inner city school got an F. Again. Much kvetching ensued. TV trucks parked all over, reporters clamoring for a quote. We hid out back. We’re sick to death of media. With all due respect to the people I know and love who work for newspapers, etc., media shills suck. I hate local TV reporters. Vapid, sound bite-obsessed vultures. All lip gloss, no brain, if you get my drift. Spare me the doom and gloom. Don Henley pegged them twenty years ago, and he’s still damned right:

I make my living off the evening news
Just give me something, something I can use
People love it when you lose, they love dirty laundry

Well, I could've been an actor, but I wound up here
I just have to look good, I don't have to be clear
Come and whisper in my ear, give us dirty laundry

Kick 'em when they're up, kick 'em when they're down
Kick 'em when they're up, kick 'em when they're down
Kick 'em when they're up, kick 'em when they're down
Kick 'em when they're up, kick 'em all around

We got the bubbleheaded bleach-blonde, comes on at 5
She can tell you about the plane crash with a gleam in her eye
It's interesting when people die, give us dirty laundry

Can we film the operation?  Is the head dead yet?
You know the boys in the newsroom got a running bet
Get the widow on the set, we need dirty laundry

You don't really need to find out what's going on
You don't really want to know just how far it's gone
Just leave well enough alone, keep your dirty laundry

Kick 'em when they're up, kick 'em when they're down
Kick 'em when they're up, kick 'em when they're down
Kick 'em when they're up, kick 'em when they're down
Kick 'em when they're stiff, kick 'em all around

Dirty little secrets, dirty little lies
We got our dirty little fingers in everybody's pie
Love to cut you down to size, we love dirty laundry

We can do the innuendo, we can dance and sing
When it's said and done, we haven't told you a thing
We all know that crap is king, give us dirty laundry

Bastards.

We worked hard. We did a good–hell, a great–job with the hardest kids in the county to teach. Vaunted A school did only one percentage point better with the lowest students they have than we did with the lowest students we have, and they’re a hell of a lot lower than Vaunted A school’s. I double-dog dare them to trade places with me for a week. I doubt many of them would make it to Friday.

Okay, I’m over it. Back to something far more productive, like stuffing my face with chocolate.