Loser!

Okay. If I can somehow write 9,100 words between now and midnight, I can still be a winner in this year’s NaNoWriMo.

But since the squirrels are currently playing handball with what’s left of my cranium right now, I can’t see that happening. As it is, I racked up about 8K today, which is a hellacious output. Just not enough to make up for several days this month where my brain went to Never Land and didn’t inform me of its flight plan first.

I have to say, I got up this morning at 4:15 am with express intention of busting out some serious wordage. I needed 17,000 words, give or take, to become a NaNo winner. And I seriously believed I could do it. Probably could have, if I hadn’t had to take care of some minor business during the day, like teaching.

Say it with me: Mimi, you are insane for thinking you could write 17,000 words in a day. But, I squeak, I wrote 13K in one day last year to finish and win, and it worked. Now say, Mimi, you have serious procrastination/adrenaline addiction issues. You might want to explore other avenues, like, say, writing a little more every day instead of morphing into crazed writing bitch who frightens pets and small children. Not to mention the husband with the clenched teeth. (Not really, he’s wonderful and very supportive, but for argument’s sake…)

I had to face reality. Throw in the towel. Put down the Alphasmart and back away slowly. This year, the winner badge wasn’t gonna happen. Well, it could have. I’d have to change my user profile to say that I lived in the Aleutian Islands to do it (I’m telling you, I was on a roll!), but I could have.

But that’s a lot of personal integrity to sell out just for a cute graphic to post on the blog saying I was a “winner.” If I had to cheat to get it, I wouldn’t be much of a winner, would I? Plus, DH, who is one of the most ethically strong people I know, would be disappointed in me, and that would almost be worse than being disappointed in myself.

I thought about it, though. I did.

So here’s what I learned this year during NaNoWriMo:

• One, I really do have to be more consistent with output. Whether it’s the 100 words a day method or BIAW, BICHOK, or any other method, I have to get the words down and not leave them in the cortex for the squirrels to hoard.
  
• Two, quit being so competitive already. If it’ll practically kill you to win at this late date, it won’t really kill you to admit you have to stop.
  
• Three, don’t waste the effort. Finish the book, let it hibernate a while, drag it out, revise the proposal, and send it to dream agent.

BTW, props to my buddies Macy and Pam for being NaNo winners. Hats off to you!

Okay, that’s 499 more words. Should I add them to my official writing total for today, or would that be cheating? (Just kidding!)