Radioactive Republicans

Chez mimi’s been getting a lot of phone calls this week about political candidates. We’re a divided house: one Democrat, one Republican. DH and I figure that splitting the registrations means that each of us can choose the best candidate in the closed-party primary, then vote our respective consciences in the general election.

Usually, there’s one obvious candidate on the Democratic ticket, but a fairly wide range from conservative to ultra-conservative in the GOP. This is proving to be very interesting, especially in the big races for Governor and Senator.

For Gov, the Dems are trading some nasties over who’s more in the pocket of evil developers, sugar growers, and the insurance industry, while the Republicans are playing tug-of-war with the Reagan legacy. (Something I just do not understand, even if some bonehead managed to convince the Florida legislature to rename the Sunshine State Parkway the Ronald Reagan Turnpike. Hello? The man never lived here? If you’re gonna rename our turnpike, can’t you pick a Floridian?? Shoot–pick one of the Marjories: Marjorie Kinnan Rawlings and Marjory Stoneman Douglas did a hell of a lot more for Florida than Mr. Reagan, may he rest in peace. Sorry. Ranting. Back on topic, mimi.) As I was saying, their sniping makes Reagan’s Bedtime for Bonzo co-star look like a model of decorum and good sense.

And then there’s Katherine Harris.

Talk about a train wreck in progress. Newspapers lately are competing for the oddest “what she said this week” quote. Her campaign staff’s turned over about three times. She makes bizarre claims about her supporters (top Democrats? Not in this state.), her platform (Christians make the best legislators, because everyone else is too busy “legislating sin”), and her chances (I’m gonna win!). We’re talking Tom Cruise-level meltdown on a daily basis. It’s painful to watch, but you can’t tear yourself away. And not a single prominent Republican, including Jeb Bush, is willing to go to bat for her publically. Baby doll, give it up.

Carl Hiaasen’s right about Florida. Truth is stranger than fiction.