Welcome to 2016! Since I’m in the very large crowd that habitually makes New Year’s resolutions but doesn’t keep them, this year I’ll try something different. Instead of coming up with my own list, I’ll borrow one from baseball legend Satchel Paige. His famous “How to Stay Young” was published in Collier’s in 1953. It’s great advice. Here’s how I plan to follow it in the coming year:

Avoid fried meats, which angry up the blood.

Ah, yes, the food one. There’s always a food resolution, right? I’ll take this one to mean eat sensibly. Notice it says avoid fried meats, not eliminate fried meats. Banning things always leads to sneaking things which leads to what was I supposed to be doing again? So no food bans. Vary the diet, don’t stuff myself cross-eyed.

If your stomach disputes you, lie down and pacify it with cool thoughts.

Stress is the bane of my existence. I haven’t contracted an ulcer—yet—and I’d like to keep it that way. Blowing off steam through yoga, morning pages, and better planning will go a long way toward that goal.

Keep the juices flowing by jangling around gently as you move.

Move. Jangle. Don’t spend as much time in chairs and on sofas.

Go very light on the vices, such as carrying on in society—the social ramble ain’t restful.

I am quite fortunate to have a terrific group of co-workers who really make teaching a pleasure, which is excellent in these blame-the-teachers-for-everything, spreadsheet-obsessed times. I’m also blessed with some longtime, loyal friends, an amazing small group/supper club crew from church, and the Puffs, who are the best cheering section/crying shoulder/foundation in the world. Aside from that, I don’t need to be popular. I’m also going to do some pruning of the Facebook. Small-minded? Gone. Hateful? Adiós. Can’t put together a coherent sentence with two hands and a flashlight, to borrow a favorite line from The American President? Sayonara. Those people ain’t restful.

Avoid running at all times.

This will not be a problem. I loathe running almost as much as I loathe gyms. Walking’s good. So is yoga. I plan to make more time for both, and maybe throw in an occasional Zumba class or the odd Tae Bo video. You never know.

And don’t look back—something might be gaining on you.

A new year means new opportunities. Instead of looking back and despairing about how much I didn’t do or what I got wrong, I plan to make positive steps forward. I wish the same for you. Happy New Year!