What I’m Doing During Summer Vacation

I have never, in my eighteen years of teaching, assigned a “What I Did Over Summer Vacation” essay. For one, summer vacation would have to be a tangible entity in order for anyone to be “over” it (yes, I also get cranky when people “plan on” something, especially when that something is not corporeal, like a table). For another thing, “What I Did . . . Yada Yada” essays are typically mind-numbingly boring, and any teacher who assigns one volunteers to descend to Dante’s Fifth Circle of Hell (with the wrathful and gloomy) while grading them.
Then again, summer vacation is a wonderful time wherein teachers gasp fresh air for the first time in ten months and recommit to important things like rest and sanity. So without further ado, here are things I’m planning to do (NOTE: not “planning on doing”) during my summer vacation:

Sleep. Sleep and I are nodding acquaintances (pardon the horrific pun) during the school year. Sleep and I will become best friends during the summer.
Eat. Eating and I are best friends during the school year. Unfortunately, she’s one of those friends who’s always underfoot at the worst times. Eating and I will keep healthy, regular appointments during the summer that look nothing like the wanton midnight pasta-fests I have when grades are due.
Clean. Although a fire hose and a push broom may be tempting weapons in my losing battle against the tide of clutter, I should probably throw out some stuff. Definitely any pictures where my behind looks like the ad-banner side of a Lynx bus.
Laugh. Long, lazy summer nights are far more fun when you’re giggling along with romantic comedies. Tourists sporting the socks-with-sandals look are good for a chuckle, too.
Play. Sometimes this will look like redecorating. Most of the time, it will look like my children have discovered a new friend who really needs to touch up her roots.
Love. My very own hero and I celebrate our anniversary in the summer. He and I will be __(“ing” verb)__ to commemorate the occasion.
Read. Reading selections will be chosen with care, not forced upon me because I assigned them. I may even get around to reading all the books I brought home from National last summer.
Write. Writing will not resemble panicked lists containing “Call So-and-So’s mother about bad test grade,” “Sign permission slip,” and “Milk!!” Writing will consist of coherent prose about characters and events, something resembling an original work of fiction.

So there you have it, my plan for summer vacation. It’s a lot to pack into two months, but it’s a great way to put off having to think about lesson plans for next year!
See you at the beach.